What the Hell Am I Doing?

I went out and got an apartment - all ready to move out in September, which is the quickest get-away that I could schedule. It's in a nice complex, in an ideal neighborhood and near work. It was the first place I looked at. And honestly, I couldn't continue the search for an apartment because it was f*cking depressing. We were planning to buy a house next year, and here I am telling some random leasing agent that I'm going through a divorce and it'll just be me and my girls. 

She tried to sell me the big 2 bedroom apartment. It was awesome. Vaulted ceilings, enormous bedrooms, two balconies/patios with lots and lots of light! What a dream! But then several other thoughts crept in - for one, the kitchen was a galley kitchen so that meant if I was cooking, I wouldn't be able to see the girls in the living room. Then honestly, I didn't want to pay to heat and cool the larger apartment. And lastly, those days/nights when the girls would be with their other mom, I didn't want to be in this big ole apartment by myself. 

So, I settled for the smaller 2 bedroom apartment that was actually $20 more and 100 square feet less. It has less light and only 1 bathroom compared to the other unit's two. And in this one, I'm giving the girls the master bedroom and I'll take the smaller second bedroom. The good things are thought that it'll be cheaper to heat/cool, and the kitchen is open to the dining room and living room so I can watch the girls and be in the same area. Plus, since it feels smaller - I'm confident that I won't feel like I'm stuck in a big empty place when the girls aren't home. 

So, now my life is about organizing my finances, ordering cable/internet (and deciding if I really need it), looking into moving companies, filtering through my belongings to prepare for a garage sale, looking at divorce paperwork and speaking with attorneys, buying extra cribs, etc. I might not know what the heck I'm doing most of the time - and also am constantly asking myself how my life is where it is now, but I'm moving forward and trying to get my act together for the next chapter in my life. 

What helped you navigate through the pre-divorce stage? Anything that was a great pick-me-up that you did for yourself when you were "free"?